Nowadays, when society is getting bolder on the subject of age difference in a relationship, attention is being paid to the phenomenon of a relationship with a younger man. This type of relationship, where the woman is older than her partner, is often referred to as a “cougar,” a reference to dynamic and independent women who choose younger partners. Although relationships in which the man is the elder have long been socially acceptable, cougar-type relationships can still be controversial.

Women in relationships with younger men often face unwarranted criticism and stereotypes, hearing that they could be a “mother” and not a “partner.” Despite these social challenges, many couples are proving that age difference is not an obstacle to building a healthy and happy relationship. A relationship with a younger man, or what is known as a “younger man. “cougar”, can be based on deep understanding, love and shared values, which is crucial to any successful relationship. Modern society is slowly beginning to accept such relationships, appreciating that love and commitment transcend age.

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Does age matter?

Many women vow never to get involved with a younger partner. However, the truth is that love does not choose and can get us when we least expect it. And while deciding to date through dating apps, we can mark the age range, getting to know someone in person is no longer necessarily the case. But why does a younger partner still stir up so much emotion, and what are we afraid of? As is evident from observing primarily the opinions of others, especially since such relationships still stir up a lot of emotions, not always positive. An older woman at the side of a younger man is usually suspected of needing to mother, especially if she has not previously had offspring. The laughter of colleagues, family and even random people can make one doubt the sense of building such a relationship.

But the nudges from loved ones are not the only reasons why women wonder if a relationship with a younger man has a chance of surviving. Doubts about lifestyles, leisure ideas, having possible offspring, legalizing a relationship and even sex drive are also on the mind.

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Relationship with a younger man

When thinking about a relationship with a younger person, the question of age difference first comes to mind. And this one can be really stretched. It could be as little as two years, or it could be as many as twenty. Therefore, it is worth considering first of all what we expect from such a relationship and what emotional level our partner is at. Sometimes age is just a notation on an ID card, and a younger partner can be much more emotionally mature than many 50-year-olds. However, a beautiful mind is not everything. And while so many people stipulate that you don’t buy a book by its cover, the reality is quite different. Most people are visual and it is hard to say that a younger body is not attractive. This is also one of the reasons why we choose to have a relationship with a younger partner or partner.

Sexual attraction is nothing scary, and if we are attracted to young, well-built men nothing surprising about it. If a woman doesn’t plan to have a permanent relationship with a younger partner, but only to create a relationship on a friends-with-benefits basis and both parties want it, why wouldn’t she? They are both adults, and if they choose this type of partnership, it is their decision.

Kuguarian – what does it mean?

When talking about the relationship between an older woman and a younger partner, the term “cougar” is often used. The cougar reference in English refers only to women. It is about a woman who is looking for younger sexual partners. This is a woman actively “hunting” young men. Fortunately, such a term is increasingly rare.

Similar labels are not applied to men seeking younger sexual partners. On the contrary, it is believed that an older man can be a lucky charm for a young woman. Still, women are often denied the right to explore their sexuality in various ways. A study by M. Alarie titled “They’re the Ones Chasing the Cougar: Relationship Formation in the Context of Age-Hypogamous Intimate Relationships” depicts that women who date younger men, often referred to as “cougar’s,” are typically portrayed as sexually assertive and actively seeking younger partners.

This notion challenges the traditional heterosexual dating scenario. But the study, based on 55 semi-structured interviews with women aged 30-60 who date younger men, sheds new light on the phenomenon.

https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-030-45996-3_20

Contrary to common cultural perceptions, the author discovers that most women do not identify with the role of an active seductress. On the contrary, many of them describe themselves as taking a more passive stance in the process of forming a relationship. This tendency to present oneself as more passive in relationships was particularly evident among female participants over 40. age, compared to those over 30. year of age.

M. Alarie’s study suggests that women’s ability and willingness to renegotiate gendered dating scenarios in the context of age hypergamy is limited by the dominant cultural discourse. This discourse suggests that a woman’s value diminishes with age, and by cultural discomfort with female sexuality. As a result, women in relationships with younger men often find themselves in the position of having to negotiate their identities and behaviors in ways that are consistent with widely held societal expectations and stereotypes.

Downsides of a relationship with a younger guy

Women who meet a younger man always have a lot of questions about whether such a relationship has a chance to survive? Unfortunately, it is impossible to talk only about the fact that the relationship brings only positive emotions. However, it is worth considering whether a relationship with an older partner has only advantages? In fact, every relationship is fraught with doubts regardless of the age of the partners. So it’s worth considering what we expect from her in the first place and talking about it frankly in the relationship. Honest conversation is the key to success, and certainly to a happy life.

Relationship with a younger guy
Photo: Depositphotos

A very important aspect that women are already concerned about at the start is material and social status. Typically, a mature woman already has a stable financial and material situation, and she holds a certain position at work. It also happens that he owns his own house or apartment and doesn’t have to worry about tomorrow. A younger man is often associated with the fact that he is just beginning his career path and does not have much savings for the future. Therefore, it happens that strangers unfamiliar with the couple’s situation simply call him a keeper. This can be extremely hurtful and cause problems to arise in the relationship. Here, too, it is worth mentioning male ambition and stereotypes, according to which it is the man who will say earn more than the woman.

Emotional immaturity

Younger men are also associated with emotional immaturity. Although his sculpted body and manly beard may give a very different illusion, in reality he may not yet be mature, not only for a relationship with a woman older than himself, but also for a relationship in general. The study provides insight into the differences in the rate of puberty between men, according to the researchers, men mature about 11 years later than women, and do not reach full emotional maturity until they are 43 years old, “sources Medical Daily and The telegraph.” “Theoretically” there is a growing statistic of a midlife crisis in men in their 40s, that is, going by this, men are more likely to move from adolescence to the so-called “midlife crisis. “the revolt of the forty-year-old.” In such a situation, is it worth giving up a relationship with a younger man?

To begin with, it is worth leaning into the fact that every person is different and their maturity is at a different stage. Although a younger partner may already be remarkably mature for his age, it doesn’t at all mean that his colleagues won’t behave like teenagers. Therefore, it is not worth succumbing to stereotypes and give a chance to get to know each other better.

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An ongoing adventure – a junior partner in daily life

The younger partner is also associated with an irresistible desire to have fun and seek adventure. He may be more physically active and want to spend his time quite differently. However, can’t this situation also occur among peers? A man who is 5,10 or even 15 years younger does not at all have to feel like going to the club every Saturday and partying until dawn. The most important thing in this situation is the character and values that guide it. In this situation, the number of springs is irrelevant and should not determine the readiness to form any relationship.

With a partner regardless of age, it is worth talking. Instead of age, one should ask about what plans he has for the future, whether he wants to have children, his life truths, his religion or even his political views. These are possible aspects that can determine the success of a relationship. “My husband is 12 years younger than me, we met when he was coming to visit my younger brother. We practically grew up together. Today I think it would bother me more than our age difference if we had different political views, because we often discuss politics at home, and I know we wouldn’t have succeeded then.” – Monika writes on one of the forums.

Greater sexual attraction

However, material status and emotional maturity are not everything. A younger partner is also associated with an increased sex drive and a constant desire for sex. Women are afraid that they will not live up to these demands, especially during the menopausal period, when libido drops significantly. Then ladies are afraid that he will quickly find a younger partner to satisfy his sexual needs. Does a relationship with a younger man make sense in this situation? One can look at it from a completely different angle. A greater desire for sex also means a greater imagination and willingness to explore new sexual positions. Instead of looking for downsides, you can definitely turn this to your advantage.

Relationship with a younger man
Photo: Depositphotos

Pros of a relationship with a younger man

A younger man can awaken previously unknown instincts in a woman, and it’s not at all about the maternal instinct. A partner’s attractive body, caresses and affectionate words can make a woman feel again the desire for close-ups she hasn’t felt in a long time. Passionate sex can ignite a completely different emotion and fire in the relationship. A post-menopausal woman does not have to give up anything at all, in fact, quite the opposite – she can rediscover her sexuality.

Women who opt for such a relationship feel much stronger psychologically. Their self-esteem improves, complexes disappear and they become confident. Such a woman would like to shout “look, I have a younger man, I can do anything!”.

New sexual sensations

Very often, women choose to have a relationship with a younger man precisely because of sex, and what’s more, they are not ashamed to talk about it. This situation can arise for as many as two reasons. The first is that until now, relationships with peers have not satisfied them. Constantly having the same sexual positions or even no sex made them feel unattractive. A new relationship opens a whole new door and, most importantly, gives a completely different outlook on life.

The second reason is precisely the desire to rebuild one’s sex drive. No one said that a mature woman should completely give up intimate intercourse, it can be quite the opposite. As Jane Fonda used to say, “When we are older, we are more aware of our bodies. Then we can say: now I know what I want. Give me what I need.” A mature woman knows very well how her body is built and what gives her pleasure. That’s why sex with a much younger lover can bring her pleasure she hasn’t experienced before.

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Improved well-being

More sex is undoubtedly also a better mood. Happiness hormones are released during intimate intercourse, which improve both mood and appearance. A happy (and in love) woman literally beams. Not only do I feel younger, but I also look that way. In addition, a younger man can also be a good motivator to take care of himself: go back to the gym, start eating healthily or take advantage of aesthetic medicine.

Of course, this does not mean that a woman should immediately look 20 years younger and go under the knife to one of the plastic surgeons. But the truth is that a new relationship is always an additional motivation. If it is also added to the fact that the partner’s friends are much younger and the woman wants to present herself well at the joint meeting, she may want to take care of herself more than before. There is nothing wrong with that and it is never too late to make changes in your life.

Junior partner
Photo: Depositphotos

Increased confidence

Those ladies who decide to have a relationship with a younger man often also change their closet and habits. They want to discover new things and spend their time differently. It happens that previous Saturday marathons with a book or in front of the TV are replaced by romantic outings outside the city. The younger partner has a head full of new ideas to use. Also, going out to a club or for a drink does not have to mean disaster at all, quite the opposite. There are plenty of clubs that offer non-student meetings. You can have an elegant dinner there and later dance until dawn.

A mature woman also does not have to wear boring suits and turtlenecks up to the neck. A younger man can motivate a woman to change her closet and show off her greatest assets. She feels much more confident, which further translates into a balanced relationship.

What does the science say about this?

For many years, psychologists have been doubling and tripling to determine whether a relationship between a mature woman and a younger man is likely to survive. The answer to this question may really surprise you, as it turns out to be very mutually beneficial. Psychologist Justin Lehmiller has been doing research on relationships for years. He claims that women who have a partner even 10 years younger are much happier, exuding confidence and sex appeal. Why is this happening? First of all, because the partners complement each other perfectly. The woman becomes a sort of life guide for the man. She is the one who has more experience and can help him go through many things with prudence and without making the mistakes of his youth. The younger partner, on the other hand, brings a breath of fresh air to the relationship. It allows a woman to feel the butterflies in her stomach again and awaken passion.

People in such relationships do not fight with each other and have no need to dominate. Very often they ideally exchange what they bring to the relationship. This harmony translates into building a lasting relationship that is much more likely to survive than a relationship with a peer. Then people have the same experiences and are often at a similar stage in life, which can be boring in the long run.

Boczarska, Wozniak-Starak, Cielecka and others

Currently, more and more women are opting for relationships with younger men. They also include celebrities known from the front pages of newspapers. One of them is actress Magdalena Cielecka. For more than three years, he has formed a successful relationship with another well-known actor, Bartosz Gelner. The couple is 16 years apart. Although Cielecka tends to shy away from flaunting her private life, a few months ago she revealed that she is aware of the age difference, but her heart has chosen a younger man with whom she is happy today.

Another well-known actress whose heart has been stolen by a younger man is Magdalena Boczarska. At first, her relationship with Mateusz Banasyuk stirred up extreme emotions. There has been criticism in the press about a mature woman dating a mere 27-year-old young man. Today, the couple is happily raising their 6-year-old son Henry and doesn’t seem to care about the words of others. You have to admit that they look happy, and after so many years the difference of 7 years is almost invisible.

Love knows no boundaries

Numerous happy couples prove that love knows no boundaries. When Cupid’s arrow gets us, we often don’t think about what others will think of the new relationship. All that matters at the moment is the hot feeling that came suddenly. Only after some time, when the emotions have subsided, do questions arise about the meaning of the relationship and whether such a relationship has any chance of surviving at all? We look for pros and cons, which are not always rational. In such a situation, the main thing to consider is whether this relationship brings happiness and whether I see myself in it in the future. The answers to these questions can be significant and help you make the right decision.

Just as a younger man seems more attractive to a woman than a peer (and not just physically), she seems a better candidate to him. A mature woman is not only a forbidden fruit, but above all impresses a man with her attractiveness and confidence. A mature woman, unlike much younger women, knows what she wants and persistently pursues it. This makes her an object of desire for younger men.

Love has no age

When deciding on a relationship, it is important to remember that love knows no age. It is not the number of springs passed that should be the determining factor in the fate of a relationship. The age difference among partners should not arouse surprise or scorn in others, because our own happiness should be the key here. A true GentleWoman knows what she wants, is confident and determined, and the path to happiness depends on her life choices. GentleWoman is you!

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