When choosing a partner for ourselves, we pay attention to many different aspects: physical appearance, social status, character traits and even intelligence quotient. And it is the latter that attracts sapiosexuals the most. What is sapiosexuality and how does it manifest itself? Check it out for yourself!

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What is sapiosexuality?

Sapiosexuality involves attraction to people with a high intelligence quotient. What does this mean? That the moment you meet your partner you don’t pay attention to his hair, smile or how he is dressed. Their appeal lies in something completely different. You are primarily interested in conversation. And not just any kind. Because sapiosexuals love long conversations in which both sides can prove themselves. This is not just small talk. They are looking for people who are at the same or higher level of intelligence. The very name sapiens (from Latin) means thinking man. And this is exactly the kind of partner they are looking for, with above-average intelligence. The beauty of the mind then acts as the best aphrodisiac, and the beautiful body? It falls decidedly to the background. The erotic pull is focused on something else entirely.

A lasting relationship for years

This is a completely different level when it comes to building a relationship. Unlike demisexuals, it is not based on emotions, but on building an intellectual bond. According to the study, these relationships are much more durable because they are not based on physical attraction. Beauty can pass away, while intellect remains . Moreover, sapiosexual relationships are built for the long term. Partners get to know each other slowly revealing more cards to each other. This means that a sapiosexual person can fall in love with his or her partner even after several months of acquaintance… or hours of discussion.

I’m attracted to your brain

He completely disregards external appearance. It can only be seduced by using its own brain. She is looking for a partner with whom she can talk for hours, and these discussions will never get boring for both parties. Moreover, the conversation often acts as the greatest aphrodisiac. Talking for hours is treated as a kind of foreplay, which often also leads to orgasm. You may remember the scene from “Ready for Anything,” where the conservative Bree achieves the orgasm of a lifetime as she talks to her partner. It is completely stronger than she is. This is how sapiosexuality manifests itself. The attractiveness of a partner is not only the right sexual position or physical features, but above all his intellect. Intimacy in a relationship is built through conversation.

Conversation can be a real aphrodisiac.

Sex on the first date is out

In this case, sex on the first date is often out. In order to indulge in carnal pleasure, intellectual attraction must first occur. Long conversations about ancient history or quantum physics are far more interesting than satisfying a sex drive. There is a spark between two sapiosexual people only when they are sure that their partner satisfies their hunger for knowledge and curiosity about the world. In their case, carnality is in the background. Of course, this does not mean that sex ceases to be important at all. However, the road to it is much longer and bumpy.

High intelligence quotient is not everything

But despite appearances, they don’t just look at the intelligence quotient. It does not have to be confirmed by a Mensa test. An attractive partner is one who, above all, is passionate about something. If he reads a lot on the subject, continues to deepen his knowledge, and wants to share it with everyone, then he becomes an object of desire. That passion just might be the key to success here… or rather, to the heart. Since there are many types of love, and each person loves in his or her own unique way, so here too the partner must stand out from the rest. The difference is that here passion is built not in bed, but in the head.

A sharp retort, black humor….

However, sapiosexuals are looking for something else in the other person. It does not always have to be an outstanding individual who knows all the encyclopedia entries by heart. A partner who is attracted to her may also be distinguished by a cutting retort, an appropriate choice of words… and even black humor. Research doesn’t lie. Scientists have been saying for years that people who possess black humor and understand it boast the highest intelligence quotient. This is because understanding these darkest jokes requires very complex information processing.

Who is a sapiosexual?

A sapiosexual can in fact be anyone. It doesn’t matter if you are a heterosexual or homosexual person. And although it is considered a kind of sexual orientation , it is used in a completely different sense. Why? That’s because in this case we don’t look at gender. Excitement, on the other hand, is generated by the intelligence of a potential partner or mate. If talking to another person makes you shudder, and what’s more, when you get excited about discussing mechatronics, it’s safe to consider yourself sapiosexual. This peculiar flirtation with intellect is precisely your foreplay.

A beautiful mind

The dream date for sapiosexuals does not end with reaching second (or even subsequent) base. All they want is to get to know their partner and talk for hours. If the waiter gently suggests to you that they are already closing the restaurant, and you glance at your watch and know that you have been sitting over a plate of cold pasta for several hours, it is a sign that you may have found your dream partner.

sapiosexuality conversation dating
You can actually meet your partner anywhere.

Where to meet your other half?

You can meet your partner really anywhere: in a gallery, where you talk about the works of Beksinski, at a party at a friend’s house, where you occupy the couch while others dance until dawn, or maybe on tinder! The moment you flip through a dating site with more people in search of the one you pay attention primarily to the description, not the photos. And once you’ve matched, you spend long weeks of late-night conversations, and you know it can’t get any better. The one will quietly wait for the first date, and so will you. The most important thing is that you have someone to talk to and something to talk about. The rest is just a formality.

Sapiosexuality vs. demisexuality

However, sapiosexuality is not the only recently popular sexual preference. The term demisexuality is also increasingly used. In both cases, they are sexual orientations with much in common. First of all, the fact that trust and sexual attraction to a partner builds over a longer period of time. Moreover, both relationships can be characterized by the fact that they are based on hard foundations. However, here the similarities end. For demisexuality is built on emotions. Before bodily contact can occur, an emotional bond and affection must be built. In the case of sapiosexuality, it comes much later, at a time when we are sure that the topics for conversation with our partner will never end. A sapiosexual is attracted to women who will never get bored with him and continue to surprise him with their knowledge. They find intelligence attractive. And sapiosexual men and women act in the same way.

Not all gold that glitters

But sapiosexuality is by no means without its drawbacks. It’s not exactly an ideal relationship. In theory, everything looks perfect: the feeling develops at its own pace, there is never boredom, and the partner surprises us every day. The problem arises, however, when worldview differences arise in addition to common themes. The two individuals begin a fierce discussion and neither of them wants to let go. This fierce polemic may even lead to arguments and even a breakup.

Brilliant minds think alike

As you can see, not every relationship is perfect. But it begs the question, is it worth fighting for and persisting in it? Sapiosexual partners really understand each other without words, inspire each other every day and never get bored with each other. Their relationship is based on constantly getting to know the other person by looking into their head and soul. This relationship is extremely deep and strong. So what more could you want?


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