– I want to make tantric love to you,” I say to Jack.
He responds with a smile. I don’t know if he’s happy that I’m talking to him about sex or amused by the tantrum. After a while, he dispels my doubts.
– Gladly,” he says, clearly agitated.
Ok, two parties have expressed a conscious desire to engage in a spiritualized activity of a sexual nature, so greased up and let’s go? Not necessarily, because neither of us knows how to do these tantric sexes, and we were lured toward the soulful bunga bunga by the sweet promise of multiple orgasms and the experience of something esoteric, whatever the fuck that means .
Now I’m in desperate need of an erotic manual for a guy and a woman version of the tantric, so I search the Internet in hopes of finding clues. I come across a few articles.
– Tantra is about enlightenment and awareness – I read in the first one – Liberation of the body, opening the energy to heal and become whole – I read in the next one. – Yogic meditation, mantras, mandalas, gurus, initiation, ritual deity worship, proclaims another.
– But there is nothing about sex here… – I say to myself.
– Well, there isn’t, because sex in tantra is also practically absent,” the article takes the floor.
– How so? – I pick up on the anthropomorphic discourse.
– The West has reduced the search for personal and spiritual depth to advanced orgasmic techniques. Were you surprised? – answers, brazenly.
After all, no. What is the first time that we simplify and commercialize some ancient concepts?
– Eh,” I sigh, however, somewhat disappointed. – So, what? Thread for better sex?
– Depends,” replies the article, narrowing its letters. – If better sex for you means 5 minutes to orgasm and statistics on who has come and how many times, then actually give yourself a break. And so you already live in a society that fulfills desires and fantasies in the bedroom that are not his at all,” chuckles the article, suddenly lighting a cigarette.
– And seemingly whose? – I ask, offended.
The article releases a gray withers, toxic smoke. He seems more and more cynical to me by the minute.
– Well, for example, this gentleman, who can stand at attention for hours. Or that lady after the labioplasty procedure, who lies lined up on the kitchen counter waiting for the white rain to pour down on her. It’s hard to find personal growth and self-discovery in a Virginia waxed from anus to clitoris, or a machete the size of a dough roller, don’t you think?
– That the fairy tales they tell in pornographic films are Disney Channel for adults is what I know,” I say in my defense. – But how do we make love so that our sex is not tandem masturbation? – I ask.
The article doesn’t respond for a long while, as if pondering whether to continue mocking the absurd culture or offer a solution. After a while, its font kind of melts.
– Let’s go back to self-proclaimed tantric teachers who drink soy lattes and putty that their new-age sacred sexuality, has anything to do with traditional tantra,” he replies, throwing the last remnants of venom in my direction. – First of all, it must be admitted that, when juxtaposed with the fairytale land of adult films, where viewers experience interesting and even dangerous adventures together with its characters, a bunch of hippies doesn’t come off so badly. Secondly, the modern faction of tantra you wanted to explore is neotantra,” the article extinguishes the cigarette and looks out the window in thoughtfulness. His tone softens, and he himself leans toward me, as if he wants to place a secret on my hands. He begins: – The Neo-Tantrists, aside from a similar-sounding name, have little in common with the Hindu mainstream, but I respect them for encouraging people to make time.
– For what?
– For intimacy,” he replies slowly. – They understand that attentiveness will turn a simple flick of the arm into a real delight.
– Just that much…? – I ask.
– That’s as far as it goes,” replies the article, reminding me that kinky sex toys, sinful fantasies and daring outfits are just a bonus, and that the real reason we still want to make love to each other is intimacy and closeness.
Goodbye Article and back to Jack. I look deeply into his eyes for a long moment.
– So how about this tantra? – he asks.
I don’t answer. Instead of trying new positions, I entwine my legs around his waist and fix my gaze on him. Then I kiss as if I were doing it for the first time. Neotantric.