In the search for answers to the question of how to be happy in a relationship, it is worth looking at approaches to partnerships that have changed over time. Until a few decades ago, it was believed that happiness in a relationship meant spending every moment together – from work to leisure time. But these days, where opportunities and perspectives are much broader, more and more couples are discovering that the key to happiness is to keep their own space. It is this individual space, allowing for personal growth and independence, that can be the foundation of a healthy and happy relationship.

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Together or separately?

Many people wonder whether a couple who spend time apart, have different interests and different lifestyles can be happy at all. After all, until recently it was thought that a relationship actually brings partners together at every stage of it, so everything should be done together. This begs the question, then, if we go out alone on a Saturday night to the movies, or go on vacation with girlfriends instead of our partner, are we not aiming for a breakup? Or is it a harbinger of a serious relationship crisis?

The truth, however, may be quite different. More and more people are aware of the important role their own space plays in their lives. And this is by no means about a little space in the house, but about space in the general sense of the word. Can going to the hairdresser or beautician be called that? Not really. Our own space is time just for ourselves, which we devote to our pleasures. Then we can do what we feel like doing, but without a partner. Within reason, of course.

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When a relationship overwhelms

The fact that one partner needs their own space may be evidenced by the fact that they feel overwhelmed. Man is by nature an individualist, and being in even the most ideal relationship, he needs a place and time just for himself. At the beginning in any relationship, partners want to do everything together and share every moment with each other. However, when this first stage of falling in love passes, there comes a moment to cut the umbilical cord and think about yourself again. This is neither a bad thing for the relationship, let alone for either partner. On the contrary. This can be the key to happiness and to creating a mature relationship for years to come.

When a man and woman have similar interests, this is usually a key aspect of why they decided to enter the relationship in the first place. Shared hobbies can be a good sticking point that makes them always have something to talk about. However, the truth is that there will also always be some things that not only can, but, above all, must be done without a partner. So how to be happy in a relationship while being both together and apart at the same time?

When a relationship overwhelms
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Common space, common issues

Every relationship should have room for three spaces: a shared space and two individual spaces for each partner. This gives each of them a chance to develop their passions and interests that they do not share with their partner. Afterwards, you can go home and tell the other person about it. This also has a positive effect on the relationship and, against all odds, strengthens it. However, it is important to effectively separate time into that spent together and that spent alone. Everything depends on the individual approach of each partner. Some people need their own space almost every day, while others only need this time once a week. The golden mean is crucial here.

In this situation, it is also important to cherish the time spent together. It shouldn’t just come down to mundane things like shopping or eating dinner. Any affection requires commitment, so it is worth ensuring that common interests continue to emerge.

Own space

Sometimes it can happen that the partner does not understand the need to have their own space in the relationship. Then you may need to have a frank conversation about the individual needs of each of them. Your own space helps you look at the relationship and yourself from a completely different perspective. This is a healthy distance to take if you want to achieve harmony not only in your relationship with another person, but most importantly with yourself. Every individuality should be cherished, even if the other person may not like it at first. In the bigger picture, this is definitely a plus in terms of strengthening the relationship.

If the partner is not convinced, or worse, denies it, it can cause conflict in the relationship. Our own self-esteem also drops, and we feel we are neglecting ourselves. So balance in a relationship is incredibly necessary and worth talking about and fighting for. It is impossible to be happy in a relationship if we are not happy with ourselves. And having your own space allows you to achieve just that state.

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Jealousy in a relationship

Having your own space does not have to mean envy. Just because a man goes out with his friends to watch the game of his favorite team does not at all mean that he forgets about his partner. He simply spends this time as he likes and as he probably did while still single. It’s not worth writing or calling him every few minutes then, as he may feel stranded. In the long run, this will have quite the opposite effect of strengthening the relationship. To understand this point of view, you need to put yourself exactly in his shoes. Going out with friends makes me feel happy, and his happiness should also translate into the whole relationship. If a woman goes out with her girlfriends, she wouldn’t want him to text her every now and then either. This is her time and her space, which she needs for her own mental health.

Jealousy in a relationship
Photo: Depositphotos

Should everything be done together in a relationship?

Own space in a relationship mainly makes partners start to miss each other. It is not a longing like that of being away from home for a week. It’s about a completely different dimension of it, more specifically, the fact that they are finally doing something on their own. Being together all the time, even if they have a great time at the time, they eventually feel a kind of boredom. This is completely normal and, unfortunately, it is impossible to guard against it.

This was especially noticeable during the COVID-19 pandemic. People confined to their homes, with no way to go out, very quickly began to get frustrated with the fact that they could only spend their time confined within four walls and, in addition, with the same person. This generated additional quarrels and tension in the relationship. Just this particular situation showed the importance of one’s own space in any relationship. Many couples then decided to separate.

Pandemic is really just one of many examples of the importance of finding time and space just for yourself. Being in a relationship does not mean that people have to be inseparable. In addition to common interests, it’s worth cultivating our own, because that’s what makes each of us different. And this individuality is precisely unique.

How to find personal space?

To find your personal space, it is important to talk to your partner first and foremost. The idea is not to force it through, but to calmly and factually explain why we need it and what role it plays in our lives. The day has only 24 hours, which we have to separate into sleep, work, partner and responsibilities. In all this, it is also necessary to find just a moment for yourself. How to be happy in a relationship? Being in any relationship, we don’t have to spend every second with the other person. You should also definitely set aside time for your own pleasures: reading books, playing video games or having a yoga session. This will bring improved mental comfort, which will directly translate into harmony and happiness in the relationship.

However, it is important to remember that this works both ways and the partner also needs his own space to satisfy his needs. Understanding the situation is already half the battle. It is also worth remembering that everyone defines their space differently and needs different timeframes for implementation. Therefore, when one partner definitely needs more time, guilt about neglecting the other person may also arise. Of course, it should not look like this and he should enjoy this special moment. That’s why it’s a good idea to support yourself and communicate your feelings to your partner, so that they can be sure that it doesn’t jeopardize the relationship.

How to find personal space
Photo: Depositphotos

How to be happy in a relationship?

The secret to happiness in a relationship lies in the delicate art of balancing shared and personal moments. In the old days, when our grandmothers and mothers lived in a world of limited opportunities, happiness in a relationship seemed simpler – it was important to be next to each other and do everything together. But in today’s world, full of diversity and unlimited options, understanding the need for one’s own space becomes crucial.

One’s own space in a relationship is more than just a physical place. It’s a space for our thoughts, dreams, passions – those we share with our partner, and those we nurture ourselves. It’s often a time to take solitary walks, sink into a favorite book, meditate or develop personal interests. These are moments when we find ourselves, which paradoxically allows us to be better partners. A relationship in which both parties understand and respect the need for their own space becomes like a garden in which both plants have room to grow and flourish. It’s not about distancing ourselves from each other, but understanding that each of us needs time to recharge our internal batteries, which ultimately brings more energy and joy to the moments we spend together.

In this context, being happy in a relationship is the ability to nurture one’s individuality while building a future together. It’s the art of giving each other breathing space, which brings us closer together. After all, as the ancient philosophy says, only by understanding ourselves can we fully understand and love another.

The important thing

Taking care of your own needs is just as important as taking care of the other person in the relationship. Having one’s own personal space is not a bad thing and should be cultivated not only for one’s own sake, but also for the sake of relationships. Everyone sooner or later needs a moment in solitude. Being in a relationship, you don’t have to share everything, including emotions. It’s worth keeping something just for yourself sometimes.

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