Polski
Is it true that you meet friends once in a lifetime and only until the age of 25? What is friendship, does it change with us. When can we call someone a friend, and when already/not yet?
Given my recent experience, I decided to check what wise sources say about this. And yes, in the Polish Language Dictionary I find such a definition: “a close, cordial relationship with someone, based on mutual kindness, sincerity, trust, the ability to count on someone in any situation.” And so, looking at it this way, this definition simultaneously shortened my list of friends by 2 people and lengthened it by 3. Positive Balance. It is good. These and other questions were swirling around in my head, so I decided to take a closer look at this friendship. Is it passé?
I’ve always dreamed of friendships like from the movies, when in the middle of the night, you call a friend and she answers, because after all, she wasn’t asleep, just waiting for your call. Or you just show up at her house, and she pulls out wine from the fridge or a bucket of ice cream there (because she always has it in case of a W) and you chat until late. Then you crisply go to work. Or at noon, you call that you’re suffering and you’re already immediately sitting in a cafe sipping coffee and eating an unbelievably sweet cake as a consolation.
But are these friendships real? Isn’t it a bit like porn movies, that after watching them, you decide that sex is just to be had in all places, as long as not on the bed and only from a particular angle? (I don’t know, I don’t watch, but I have heard something from a friend who always serves me with advice).
Friendship, is a matter that requires effort, work and nurturing. I don’t think I need to tell you about those plants that withered because you didn’t water them? It’s the same with friendship. Otherwise, there is a risk of it escaping, like the inflated lips that I see with horror on the face of many women today.
Friends can also reportedly be found in their 30s, 40s and even later. I confirm, I myself lived for a long time in the conviction that it was already “over” and that somehow the girls always had something to me, I will no longer find a person close to me who will always understand me. Mistake. One should never stop believing. You never know if the person you meet seemingly for a moment will stay in your life for a long time.
Sometimes someone who was a stranger to us once, now becomes our best confidant. And sometimes something also happens that needs to happen anyway so that both people can grow and develop – i.e. Each person must go their own way. When this happens, it’s nice to move on, rather than forcefully pulling something that will go away sooner or later anyway.
Sometimes this person grows with you, your changes, and continues to stay with you, and sometimes he leaves. Especially if you have done a lot of inner work and are already at a different level of consciousness and view of the world. This person, no matter what, simply will not keep up with you. And that’s ok, too. After all, you can’t teach an infant to write. Sometimes you feel that you are already in a completely different reality, as if you were separated by some galaxy, and this person ceases to exist for you. You even forget its existence. And that’s ok. It is nice then to thank each other for the moments spent together. Because, after all, somewhere out there, new friends are waiting for you.
It happens that your beloved friend lives 3,000 kilometers away from you, and you receive from her the greatest gift, because the support that the person living 3 kilometers away from you does not give you. This, too, is worth accepting and cutting off the old so that the new can come. And to believe that friendship really can be met just around the corner, just like love. Where, we don’t expect it, when we don’t expect it. And from whom we least expect it. Because friendship is a kind of relationship, love. Sometimes you may not speak to someone for several months, but you know they are always there to offer you advice and a warm word. It can also be that as individuals you are completely different, you are like two opposite poles, you – spiritual, she – analytical, but still something holds you together, you have some common points that bind the whole.
Perhaps the “Little Prince” speaks most beautifully about friendship. As it turns out, friendship is about taming each other, creating bonds that cause us to simply need each other.
“Friendship is known by the fact that nothing can fail it, and true love by the fact that nothing can destroy it.
– Looking for friends. What does “tame” mean?
– It is a concept that has been completely forgotten,” said the fox. – “To tame” means “to create bonds.”
– Create ties?
– Of course,” said the fox. – Now you are just a little boy to me, similar to a hundred thousand little boys. I don’t need you. And you don’t need me. I am just a fox to you, similar to a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, we will need each other.”.
“One makes a friend at an uncertain time.” That is, the moment when something just doesn’t work in your life, something goes wrong, or rather, I prefer to consider that it goes right. And it’s at this crucial moment that you can cross out the insecure ones from your list and add the ones that have turned out to be certain. Of course, I’m generalizing, because the other person may also have an uncertain moment. The question is, which of you finds this moment more precarious, and how do you deal with it together?
“People have too little time to get to know anything. They buy ready-made things in stores. And because there are no magazines with friends, so people have no friends.”
I think it’s very relevant to today’s times. You think you know someone, but it actually takes many situations to really get to know that person. Few today want to take the time to really get to know someone, everything is for now for now, or even yesterday. And friendships need to be built.
“Friends are like silent angels who lift us up when our wings forget how to fly.”
What conclusions do I come to? That a Friend is someone who is blowing in your wings, someone who is on your team, someone you feel comfortable around, someone who is kind to you – you just know it. Energy can’t be cheated. It is someone who hears you, not listens to you, someone who sees you, not looks at you. And it will always help. I recently read that the greatest sign of friendship is when you suffer in 10-inch stilettos at a party, and your friend who came in sneakers, seeing your pain, offers you a swap. The devil is in the details. Or in this case, rather, Angel. This person is simply with you, when he is supposed to be. Even if incapable of any advice, she will simply remain silent with you. And it is this silence, this silence, that resounds louder than many words. Long live friendship!
Also read: Action-Response and World Perception: How our insides shape responses to life events
