It’s a word we see everywhere, literally popping out of the proverbial refrigerator.

How to do this or that, how to do something faster, better, perfectly.

How to dress, how to be a super wife, mother and on top of that a lover. How to behave and how not to behave, to which side of the world to hang the toilet paper, so that everything goes smoothly. How to run a business to rise to the heights faster. How do you get to your destination faster? How, well, how?

How, how, how? In today’s world we are bombarded with these words from everywhere and magically find people who know some secret shortcut to absolutely everything.

But under the guise of “how to shorten something for ourselves and get to our destination faster,” are we thereby depriving ourselves of the opportunity to discover our own potential that lies within us? Experience your own unique and wonderful journey? And allowing ourselves to let every aspect happen at the right time for us to do so?

Everyone is different. Everyone has their own way. Often finding someone to point us in the right direction, to help us, is as good as it gets. Everything is for us. However, in moderation. This is brilliantly illustrated by a quote, from my beloved, discovered and appreciated by me (only now, as an adult woman!!!), “The Little Prince”.

“People … fall into the rapid current of time, no longer remembering what they are looking for. Waving your hands frantically, going in circles… It doesn’t make any sense.”

And so we go around in circles, instead of embarking on that previously mentioned journey. I’ve had a phase in my recent life of listening, reading, searching for any “how to.” Like, which grew more and more each day. I felt like I was seeing it everywhere. Courses, training, performance enhancement, entrepreneurship, listening to quasi mentors. Intuitively, however, I felt that something felt like too much. That something seems to be overwhelming me, crushing me, sucking the energy out of me like a vacuum cleaner. It got to the point where I didn’t brew myself coffee in my coffee machine without first googling information on how to do it correctly according to baristas, who advise HOW to make such coffee for yourself to be excellent. That the water be poured already boiled, that the grains must be medium ground. How to whip up the perfect marshmallow. And to top it all off, score a pattern on this exuberant foam. At every turn, someone was basically suggesting how I should live. If not one, then the other, you could go crazy from the overabundance of information. And so I was treading the paths of life, like such, as the Spaniards say, “como pollos sin cabeza,” or literally “headless chickens.” Which run where they are ordered, because they can’t see anything anyway, so what difference does it make which way and for what, and where. And darkness prevailed everywhere anyway. There was something about it. And the lights, well, just like that, neither see nor hear.

Efficiency, productivity apps have even led me to incomprehensible anxiety. However, I intuitively felt that there was too much of something, that it was not mine, that I was taking something away from myself, going along with it. But I didn’t know what. After some time, after various attempts, I realized that everything has its moment. That I won’t rush anything, that I have to live through what I’m given to experience, that I won’t avoid certain things, because they will find me and catch up with me anyway. That everything happens at the right time. That even though someone will tell me how to do something faster, there are really no shortcuts. That all these answers to “how to” questions were draining my energy and that I wasn’t using my causal power, while I felt I had one in me somewhere. But she was sleeping very soundly at that moment. Because it also had no need to wake up, since I was seemingly finding answers to my questions and advice everywhere, in the outside world, just not in myself.

Advice on how to shorten anything, especially the path to something, to supposedly achieve a goal, I question. The shortcut is literally to close all doors including windows. That’s not allowing ourselves to admire the sights in between, only padding it with soft grass and following someone else’s, not ours, signposts to make us comfortable and make it easier and faster, of course. It is tantamount to not allowing ourselves to stop, to reflect on how we want to given thing to do, how we want to experience something, and above all it is not to allow ourselves to ask the question: “Is it mine?”, “Does it fit me?”. Because it doesn’t even cross our minds. Often we blindly follow what someone says and take it as a great truth. Sometimes, horror of horrors, the only one (don’t say it didn’t happen to you, because it did to me).

It’s a bit like literally putting such a sleep band on your eyes, for those who like and need to have Egyptian darkness to sleep in (like me). And this headband, it wraps so nicely, adapts to our face, that it’s a pity to take it off, because why, when it’s so comfortable? It’s as if we let ourselves be fully led by the hand, following step by step, following the footsteps of someone’s answer to the “how.” When we discard all this, we suddenly find that many things we just know, out of the blue. That everything literally flows, comes out easily, because we do something authentically, in accordance with ourselves. The more knowledge, the less room for creativity, for our intuition, for our authenticity and our power.

Now, for a change, I happily accept and celebrate my character, (as my longtime friend says), the character of a cat, i.e., the kind of character that walks its own paths and believes that the direction in which my feet happen to carry me after first agreeing with my heart is the right one. Sometimes I don’t know why I’m going somewhere at any given time, but I go, I do, because deep down I feel it’s the most appropriate solution. Best case scenario. When I need to, I use the knowledge of others, but in moderation. I brew my coffee the way I like it, and I’ve replaced any apps with just that – a task list and Excel when needed. Simple solutions are the best. No complications. No resistance. I replace heaviness with lightness. It’s worth being open-minded and using other people’s answers, but it’s also worth keeping our eyes and heart wide open to what our soul whispers to us. However, the road to hearing it is often long. And everyone, if they so desire, will come to it, sooner or later. Preferably through your own wonderful, unique way, in which you will discover a way to shine with your authentic brilliance. But about that another time.

Also read: Listening to the heart – how not to hit the g*ve in the silverware?


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