Self-esteem, self-confidence vs. ego - understanding the differences

Where do you draw the line between confidence and self-esteem and ego? This is a question that more than a few of us have asked ourselves during various conversations. Unfortunately, by learning to take care of your needs and developing a sense of self-worth, it is very easy to cross this line while throwing your ego into space. What is self-esteem and what is ego ?

What is an ego?

The term ‘ego’ was created by Sigmund Freud. In his understanding, the ego exists to help us cope with external reality by maintaining our internal balance between primitive instincts and drives and our conscience. It is a self-image that is theoretically fully true. It consists of emotions, thoughts, social norms, rules and various other factors drawn from the outside world. It has been built since childhood. Everyone has it – but not everyone identifies with it. So it can have a good effect, but it can also have a bad effect. Ego does not want to take responsibility, people who have it high will often avoid their fault. It was the environment that influenced their behavior, other people, opinions, and basically anything you can shift responsibility to.

What is self-esteem?

There are many definitions of self-esteem. One of them comes from Dr. N. Branden, according to him, it is “the tendency to experience oneself as competent to meet the challenges brought by life, and deserving of happiness” Self-esteem is not synonymous with self-admiration or constant self-criticism, but the ability to trust oneself, appreciate oneself, and recognize one’s flaws and advantages. Knowing ourselves guides our decisions so that they bring us opportunities for self-development, challenges and, above all, lead us down the path to happiness and fulfillment.

How do you distinguish between ego and confidence?

Ego needs a great deal of attention from those around it, while self-esteem is built on giving attention to oneself. Remembering this rule will make it easier to recognize a person with a big ego. To inspire admiration in people, to constantly talk about your successes and deeds is to want to receive this from other people. A person with a sense of self-worth will, of course, also brag about successes, but it will be a mention in the conversation, not the whole point of it. Such people have a broad perception of the emotions, feelings and needs of others. While egocentrism puts its needs on a pedestal.

Distinguishing ego from self-esteem, it is worth noting the reaction to constructive criticism. Self-esteem is built on advantages and disadvantages, successes and failures. So constructive criticism will not be unacceptable, on the contrary! It will be appreciated and discussed. The complete opposite happens when constructive criticism offends a person with a big ego. It will most likely be perceived as an attack.

How to live with a person who has a big ego

Living with a person whose ego is evident in even the smallest situations can be very disruptive. However, what is worth doing in such situations? Master your emotions. Self-awareness is the key to success and a peaceful life. This way, it will be possible to see when the ego will speak through someone, and conduct the rest of the conversation on neutral emotions. Unfortunately, lack of self-control can lead you to an emotional outburst and your interlocutor will achieve the desired effect.

self-esteem in women — Self-esteem, self-confidence vs. ego - understanding the differences 2

Another important aspect of having a conversation with a narcissist is referring to facts. Expressing your opinion based on past events will make you avoid comments and your statement will be more reliable.

An interlocutor with an exuberant ego will be ideal to train his assertiveness. He will credit himself with the best performed tasks, impose his rationale and solutions. This is the moment to fight for yourself and defend your convictions.

There’s no such thing as a bad thing

Although we do not associate big egos in any good way, we can learn a lot from such people. After all, each of us could use a little selfie now and then! It is worth learning how to function in the company of narcissists, if only to have experience and knowledge of how to behave towards them. How about influencing them and changing their perceptions of others?