Discovering and accepting one’s bisexuality is an extremely important but also complicated process for many people. For some, it can be a challenging journey, but also an opportunity to discover their true self and grow as a person. Bisexuality, which is one of many forms of sexual orientation, is often misunderstood or downplayed in society, which can leave those who identify as bisexual feeling insecure or unaccepted. Charting a path to understanding and accepting one’s bisexuality can be crucial to building self-esteem and healthy relationships with others. How to understand and accept your bisexuality? Are there ways to deal with negative opinions or social stereotypes about bisexuality? These are the questions we seek answers to as we consider various aspects of this orientation and ways to build self-acceptance in the context of bisexuality.

Table of contents

What is bisexuality?

Bisexuality is a term used to describe a sexual orientation in which a person feels attracted to both same-sex and opposite-sex people. In other words, a bisexual person may feel romantic or sexual attraction to both men and women.

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It is worth noting that bisexuality is one of many possible sexual orientations alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality, pansexuality or asexuality. The essence of bisexuality is that a person who identifies as such is open to various forms of relationships, regardless of the sex or gender identity of the partner.

For some people, bisexuality can mean that their attraction can be evenly shared between people of different genders, while for others it can be more complicated, with differences in the intensity of attraction to different genders at different times in life. It is important to understand that bisexuality is a real and important part of sexual identity for many people, and that it is as important as any other sexual orientation.

bisexuality
Photo: Courtney Coles

Is bisexuality something we are born with?

The question of whether bisexuality is a trait with which a person is born, or whether it is the result of various environmental, emotional or social factors, is debated in the scientific and social literature. There is no clear answer to this question, as sexual orientation is a complex issue that can be influenced by a variety of factors. Some researchers believe that there is some biological and genetic basis for sexual orientation, suggesting that some people may be predisposed to bisexuality from birth. Genetic and neurobiological studies suggest that sexual orientation may be partly determined genetically and by the action of prenatal hormones during the fetal period.

“I think choosing between a man and a woman is like choosing between cake and ice cream. It would be stupid not to try both, when there are so many different flavors.”

Bjork

However, there are also other factors that can influence the development of sexual orientation, including environmental influences, upbringing, life experiences and culture. Some people may find that their sexual orientation has evolved with their lives, and some may experience changes in their sexual orientation at different stages of life.

As a result, it is difficult to say unequivocally whether bisexuality is something we are born with or the result of various factors.

bisexuality
Photo: Courtney Coles

The biggest challenges of bisexuality

Bisexuality, like any other sexual orientation, can be associated with various challenges, both internal and external.

Here are some such challenges that bisexuals may face:

  • Invisibility and belittling: Bisexual people often experience invisibility in society. They may be belittled by both heterosexual and homosexual people, who may not recognize their sexual identity. This in turn can lead to feelings of misunderstanding and isolation.
  • Biphobia and homophobia in society: Bisexuals can face various forms of discrimination, including biphobia (negative attitudes toward bisexuals) and homophobia. Social prejudices and stereotypes about bisexuality can lead to discrimination at work, school or in personal life.
  • Difficulties with self-acceptance: Discovering and accepting one’s bisexuality can be difficult for some people, especially when they face resistance from society or those closest to them. This can lead to internal conflict and feelings of insecurity about one’s sexual identity.

“It’s amazing how many shades of eye and skin color there are, and yet many believe that sexuality is simply homosexual or heterosexual.”

American sociologist and book author DaShanne Stokes
  • The problem of acceptance by the LGBTQ+ community: Some bisexuals may find it difficult to be accepted in the LGBTQ+ community due to stereotypes about bisexuality, such as the view that bisexuals are “shape-shifting” or “indecisive.”
  • Relationship problems: Bisexuals may experience relationship challenges, both with same-sex and gender-variant people. They may face incomprehension from their partners or struggle with fear of rejection.
  • Lack of social support: Bisexual people may have difficulty finding social support, especially if their environment is not open to diversity regarding sexual orientation. Lack of support can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

“She liked to ignore the fact that I made love to men and it gave me pleasure. She liked to ignore it until she decided she was threatened by it. I think that was her pattern. I was a lesbian when she loved me and a heterosexual woman when she hated me.”

Taylor Jenkins Reid, author of The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo.

What if we discover our bisexuality? How do we understand and accept it?

Discovering one’s bisexuality can be both liberating and overwhelming.

Here are some steps that can help you understand and accept your bisexuality:

  1. Self-reflection: Look inside yourself and think about what being bisexual means to you. What feelings, desires and experiences accompany your sexual identity? Self-reflection can help you understand who you are and what your bisexuality really means to you.
  2. Education: Gain knowledge about bisexuality by reading books, articles and online resources on the subject. Understanding the various aspects of bisexuality can help you build confidence and a sense of identity.
  3. Seeking support: Look for people who can understand and support you in the process of accepting your bisexuality. This could be friends, family, support groups or online communities focused on LGBTQ+ people.
  4. Accept your feelings: Accept your feelings and desires without judging yourself. Remember that your sexual identity is part of you and there is nothing wrong with being bisexual.
  5. Dealing with doubts and fears: Make an effort to understand your doubts and fears about being bisexual. Talk to trusted people, a therapist or attend support groups to discover effective ways to deal with difficult emotions.
bisexuality
Photo: Getty Images

The process of understanding and accepting one’s bisexuality can be different for each person. It is important to give yourself the time and space to explore your own feelings and needs, and to seek support when you need it.

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